My Personal Statement

This time last year, I was a frantic 17-year-old soon to be entering her senior year in high school. College, you ask? That was the only thing on my mind this time last summer. I don't know, call me crazy but just the idea of a group of well-educated 40 year olds judging my whole life and making a decision to accept me into their school that my whole future depended on intimidated me. My future, where I will live, where I will get a job, what kind of person I'll be shaped into all lied in their hands.

Now that I had worked hard all 3 years of high school to get good grades and managed to get a 1410 SAT score, it was time to write some essays. I did everything in my power to shape a well-written, meaningful, and authentic personal statement on the common app that best represented me.

This essay did take me far, I got into colleges and waitlisted at many(Villanova University, Pepperdine University, and University of Wisconsin-Madison to name a few) but later got off the waitlists and I believe it to be because of my essays. Here below is my personal statement:

Prompt: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.Please write an essay on the topic selected. You can type directly into the box, or you can paste text from another source.

I had never disobeyed my parents before, mostly because they encouraged me to live in my own utopia where I could do anything I set my mind to; there was no challenge too great. I’ve always enjoyed challenging myself. One day, I challenged myself to jump off the swing in my backyard, surpassing the mulch to reach the grass, a distance I know today to be quite unsafe. I did reach the grass—but fell flat on my stomach. I lied there, with one cheek resting on the ground, gasping for air. This is it, I thought to myself as I slowly closed my eyes.  

“Don’t tell Mom and Dad.” I whispered to my brother with what I thought to be my last breath.

Spoiler alert: I lived. A few years passed before I would again experience that kind of dread. It happened when my parents reported that our family would be moving to another house...again. From a young age, I was envious of my cousin who grew up in only one house that would forever be her childhood home. Sixth time's the charm I thought as I tried to convince myself this was normal for anyone that grew up in a booming real estate market.

First was the house on Stewartville where I was brought home from the hospital and took my first steps.

Next was the house on Gardenside where I remember being kicked in the shin by a boy my age for the last time while we were playing outside. I ran inside and told my father, “Dad, Chad kicked me again!”

My dad responded, “OK, go punch him in the nose.”

You see, my dad grew up in South Side, Chicago. With $600 in his wallet, he bought a one way plane ticket at age 18 to California with dreams of a better life.

It was the Torrey Pines House where my dad found a family of frogs in the backyard that I would attempt to raise with my younger brother and older sister.

The Golf Course House was where I learned how to read. One of my favorites was One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish by Dr. Seuss. It encouraged me to be adventurous and use my imagination, something that I could take with me anywhere I lived. Although I only had to look out into my backyard to see the golf course, I wouldn’t set foot on one until high school.

On their two hour commute to work, my parents always passed by a small, well established town with good schools and a lot of oak trees that they dreamed of living in called Alamo.

But our next move wasn’t to Alamo; instead, it was to the Sage Sparrow House where I played my karaoke game with an audience that graded performances.

“Good job!” my aunt exclaimed.

“They’re booing me!” I replied.

Despite the negative feedback, I would go on to sing in my high school choir as I was determined to progress.

Our next move was home, on Cervato Circle, in Alamo. It’s where I’ve dreamt of starting a school club, of impacting others’ lives for the better, of the learning I will pursue, and of the great corporate counsel I’ll be one day.

Now as a 17 year old, I gaze up at the tall beamed ceilings, and admire the aging wood that has aged with me. I realize the house has character and although it sounds cheesy, I suppose all my moving around during my childhood gave me character too.

I still feel like I’m the 5 year old girl on the swings. I’m excited to be 17 and venturing into the unknown next year; I am her.

I jump off the swing, I stick my landing, and the crowd goes wild.

A lot of work went into this essay. I didn't write to a specific prompt, rather I wrote my essay and then chose the prompt that it fit best. My goal of this essay was to show the reader characteristics of mine such as challenging myself, being appreciative, my excitement for the future, witnessing my parents achieve their dream and showing that I have dreams of my own (some that I have already achieved), I'm passionate, and in general that I have personality, all while showing I can write and giving a little background of my life.

There's so many ways to write a successful common app essay, some just about a single time or a specific thing. But that's what's fun and scary about writing this personal statement, it's unique to you and there's no correct way or strict guidelines on how to write it.

I went through many drafts and other essays to get this final personal statement. There were times when I scrapped almost the whole thing and was not confident that this was the right essay. I had read so many common app essays that worked for people and there was something different and great about all of them. In the end, I'm proud of this essay and realized I just had to find my voice.

Good luck to all who are entering this college application journey and I hope this essay shines some light or inspiration for your essay.

(Disclaimer: Do not copy this essay. It will only hurt you. Colleges will know, and copying won't get you anywhere. I posted this for those who wish to use it as a reference or for inspiration for people to write an essay that represents themselves, not this essay.)