How turning 18 is like getting a haircut

My 14 year old self sat on the couch in my living room. Arranging plans for the upcoming summer, I turned to my calendar on my phone, looked at the month of june, and soon found myself scrolling through the years. I hit 2017…2018 a few seconds later…..then I passed 2019 soon after. I thought to myself, Oh my goodness, I can’t even picture being that old and life at that age.

It’s now 2018 and I just turned 18 on April 30th. I’m that age that I couldn’t picture myself being when I was 14. How does it feel you ask? How am I coping? I’m just fine actually, better, if not thriving. I hold happiness, determination, and zest for life in the palm of my hands.

Senior ball was coming up in two weekends after my birthday. I thought I could really use a haircut and ditch these dead ends of mine. So I took a small trip to Supercuts. (Yes, I am that girl who goes to the same place for a haircut since I’ve been 5.)

I sat in the chair and told the hairdresser what I would like, “About 5 or 6 inches cut off with long layers please.”

*Chops away*

After various waves of fear churning in my stomach in hopes that she doesn’t make a mistake and I don’t regret this, the haircut is over and I look to my left after looking in the mirror to call my mom over when I realize, I’m 18 now. My mom isn’t here watching me get a haircut, nor does she need to approve of it like when I was 5. It’s not like she’s going to walk over to the hairdresser and ask for another inch off.

This wasn’t the only epiphany I had of being 18. I walked over to the register and realized, I’m 18. I’m 18 and I’m paying for this haircut.

Maybe I was lying, I’m not fine. Perhaps I thought I was fine because I’m subconsciously suppressing my real feelings about being 18–the feelings I had when I was 14. Hair is part of ones identity. I guess it’s not just a coincidence that I decided to change part of my identity soon after turning 18. Did I really get a haircut only to get rid of my split ends or was there more meaning behind that too?

When I’m faced with a “problem”, I often run away at first and I suppose I did the same thing with this birthday. I altered my appearance in hopes of running away from this big fear of mine: becoming an adult.

When I was 14 on that couch, I couldn’t even fathom what being 18 would be like; it sounded so old. However, a couple months into being 18, I’m growing to not run away, fight instead of fleet. It wasn’t just the day I turned 18 that I felt excited to be 18, it was most likely the past four years when I was 14 that I began adulting out of fear that I wouldn’t be ready.

Walking out of the doors of Supercuts with a fresh new do was symbolic for my new beginnings as an adult and now, I do feel ready and equipped to tackle the world. I’m an excited 18 year old, so I wasn’t lying.

Welcome to 18 my friend.